Authentically Me

You know what is a really fun concept to dive into? Authenticity. Authenticity. I even like the word itself. Authenticity is defined as “representing one’s true nature or beliefs, true to oneself.” Isn’t that delicious? Don’t we all just want permission to be true to ourselves? Isn’t authenticity the quality we search for so deeply and admire most in others?

Brene Brown says “Authenticity is a collection of choicers that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

It is so obvious to me when I meet someone who is being entirely themselves. And not from a place of rebellion (although I understand the need for that) but I’m talking about those people who are just totally content being who they are in this world. It is a quality that is so intoxicating to be around.

We spend so much of our lives trying to conform to who we think we should be or how we should act or what we should look like. Whether these pressures come from society, parents, profession, media - I don’t think it matters. I think it’s more important to have awareness that at some point we adopt these expectations of ourselves and then they become our inner voice leading us and our decision making everyday.

Authenticity is something that has been really showing up everywhere for me recently. I see it written about often in the the context of wellbeing since being true to oneself is critical to one’s mental/emotional health. I couldn’t agree more! Do you know how much energy is wasted when trying to be someone else? 

I’ve tried being other people at different points in my life. And not one person specifically (I’m not talking Single White Female stuff - how’s that for a throwback reference!) but it’s more like I’ve just tried on different hats as I’ve found my way in the world. And I can report that when you’re wearing the wrong hat, it is exhausting. I could give you so many examples but an obvious one is I have a Biology degree. I’m proud of it, I worked very hard for it and I was good at it but in retrospect I was so far off my path. Everything was harder. I liken it to walking through mud. Sure you can do it but there’s something better out there for you that flows like a river. When you sit back, recline, settle into who you really are, that’s when everything just flows. When you’re being true to yourself, that’s when the stars align, that’s when everything falls into place, that’s when the thick mud falls away and the river flows.

Other ways authenticity has been showing up for me recently is in people. I have met or been reconnected with so many gorgeous examples of people living their most authentic lives. It is so inspiring to witness and I celebrate those people. I literally clap for them or jump up and down with excitement (I know you can picture this) when they tell me about the things they’re doing and the lives they’re creating. 

I had the loveliest chat with a dear old friend not too long ago that really struck me and likely inspired my focus on authenticity. This friend is living a totally different life than I am. They have made decisions almost exclusively opposite to the decisions I have made in my life and have had entirely different experiences. And I was in awe of them. Not because I wanted those things for myself but it was so breathtaking to know that their life was created by authenticity. And what is even better is this person didn’t consciously choose to make authentic decisions - they just don’t know any other way to be. It’s as though they have been unaffected by any external influences or pressures. They are living the life they are meant to and there was such a magnetic energy about it.    

Over the years I have found myself becoming more myself - and it is so exciting! I know many people, especially women, struggle with aging and I often hear people pining for their youth. Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t go back to my twenties for anything! I had a great time, travelled, had a lot of fun, built a career and a wonderful life for myself and my family. But I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and more confident using my voice than I do now. I am having more fun and adventure now than ever (I’m looking at you rock climbing). Trust me, it only gets better.

Sometimes we’re scared to show who we really are. Maybe I won’t be accepted. Maybe people won’t like me. Maybe I’ll be too much for some or not enough for others. But you know what’s really thrilling about this? Once you prioritize authenticity...once you make that commitment to yourself...give yourself permission to be you, you care a lot less about what everyone else thinks. What freedom! And then everything else falls into place. The career finds you and the people who love you for you show up. Maybe others fall away but do you need them anyway? Do you need the people you have to be someone else for? You attract the right things/people when you have a sense of who you are. 

I still stumble sometimes. I see myself falling into old patterns of people pleasing - trying to be the person they need and have the answers they’re looking for. I’m a work in progress. But I’ve made that commitment to myself. I’ve given myself permission to show up in this world, be creative, take up space and use my voice. And now that I’ve seen what’s possible, there’s no turning back.

I’ll leave you with a beautiful quote I read recently (and you know I like a good quote!): “Maybe I’m not supposed to live up to anything. Maybe I’m just supposed to be the someone that I am.”  - Stacie Martin